Hopefully this will be short and sweet... Or rather sour and depressing...

On the 22nd of June I'll be leaving to attend the United States Air Force Academy. Starting the 25th I'll begin my Basic Cadet Training {BCT pronounced beast for a reason D'X} and I'll be a poor little beat down doolie in the Academy. As a freshmen I won't have much access to a computer since they don't allow a lot of things in our rooms our first year so I probably won't be on here much if at all. I just thought I'd let you all know so you won't wonder where I am.

I'll try and keep drawing, hopefully it'll help keep my head together while I get broken down into the system. Maybe I'll write a little too.
I'm scared out of my mind. And I'm not really sure of what. I have a small fear I might die in some freak accident but mostly I guess it's just failing. I'm afraid I won't be fit enough to cut it but I guess that'd be my fault. I'm just too lazy. Tons of people have told me I just have to not give up and it's really comforting but I know when I get there I'm going to want to... There's a lot of other things I'm afraid of I can't explain. =sigh= Why can't I just go to regular college? You're just as scared and alone without as much pain...

I'm really gonna miss you guys. Keep drawing and amazing me.

Love you all!

::CLUBS::

Yes, it's true. Miracle of miracles, who once seemed dead is now alive again! At least for a short time..

Through some strange twist of luck my internets is being kind and I'm here today. I'll use it to my advantage and post a plethora of things I've drawn. Or at least, as much as I can.

I'd like to thank everyone who has commented, faved, etc my work while I was gone. Sorry I couldn't thank you sooner. Your love is greatly appreciated!

As for my state of being.. I rather not talk about it right now. It's been rather tumultuous and I feel less than ok but no body wants to hear that. So... Let's you and me both pray my internet continues to grace me with it's generosity and let me continue to visit and smear the internets with my scribbles. But now, if you'll excuse me I have a couple thousand deviations to puruse...

WARNING: Em0 stuff ahead.

I've been seriously considering getting a shirt that says "Enya" on it because I've just been soo clumsy lately. God forbid I don't trip over EVERY chair I walk by..

I've also been feeling rather... I don't even know what to call it. Listless? Empty? Lusting? Wanting something with the very core of my being and being utterly incapable of grasping it. In actuality, wanting it to have me when it has already unknowingly completely consumed me.

But I have to push it away for now. I'm just being impatient as always. Business is at hand.

I'm kind of full of anxiety right now too. Next week I go to Colorado to attend the Air Force Academy Summer Seminar. And I'm scared. I really don't know how I'm gonna do.. what I'm gonna do. And I'm gonna miss my friends. I hope I can focus enough to do my best. I don't wanna be suffering from cuddle withdrawls and fail my flight simulation class. Ahhhh, I'm so scared. Somebody make it go away! ;________;

Haack.. Bye bye serious stuff! DA related bizz now.

So.. I went through my scraps, just for kicks, and realized my friend is kinda right. I'm ok at sketching. I realized a lot of those sketches deserve to be looked at but.. can be improved. I wanna color them but it'll take a while. So if any of you kind people out there wanna take a look at my scraps and tell me what I should start with, I'll like you a lot for it! And maybe give you something for your trouble? ^^

I wanna start writing again but I have too many things I am [negelecting] to work on right now. XD

ALSO I have no right to be complaining about how much my life sucks! D: I need to help others, it's what I live for. Somebody talk to me about their problems so I can give them a hug. That includes you, your highness.

I should really be studying for my finals right now...
::CLUBS::

Just a little update to let you all know I'm still alive... Haha, like you care! XDDD But I wanted to tell SOMEONE what just happened. So listen.

I just won Second place in painting in an art exhibit I entered. I won a whole bunch of stuff. I got a canvas, one really little and one really big sketchbook, two big old "illustration boards" a pallete thingy, a couple of paint tubes, and a REALLY fancy brush. I'm amazed. I didn't think my paintings would even make it IN the exhibit. Obviously I was wrong. XD Now I don't know what I'm gonna do with all these paint things.. I NEVER paint. The only reason I did those paintings was for a school assignment. X3 Anyways, it's pretty awesome. The stuff looks really expensive and cool. Now I'm REALLY inspired to draw something.... I just can't think of what. XD

I've also been writing more thanks to my English class. Except... I don't wanna write an argumentive essay! I can't pick a topic! Wahh! But I've started a new book... And I've started talking more. I've realized I actually AM funny, since I was able to even make the grown ups in my college class laugh. I wish I could be a comedian. But I couldn't handle the pressure. The money thing isn't really for me either.

I just love the sound of laughter.

::CLUBS::